I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
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Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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