but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
