i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
