i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
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You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
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Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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