Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
