This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
