I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
