he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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