i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
