Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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