Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
