i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
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