he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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