I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My balls are so social today.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
