I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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