I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
