That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
