I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I need to wash the frat house off of me
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
