Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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