Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
