I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
