Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize