A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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