So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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