i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize