Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
