so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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