We won't sleep together?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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