You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
so much tequila, so little girl.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
