I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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