OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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