Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
