Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
