Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
