Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
