get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
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