Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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