She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So vagazzling was a success
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
