She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
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Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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