he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think i peed on brittanys purse
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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