Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
