Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
