i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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