I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
