Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
