I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
