she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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