So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
