So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
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tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize