Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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