Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
