ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
