My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
