new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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