I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
