AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
