I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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