New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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