I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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