hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Drake has all the answers
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
