And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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