Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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