i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
